Lunchables Lunch Combinations – Dirt Cake

So I wish could say “I can’t even remember the last time I had a Lunchable”… but that would be completely untrue. On occasion the suck me in with the temptation of gross chicken nuggets and cold Pringles. Despite being gross, I just can’t get enough sometimes. I am also sad that I can never find the original Lunchable anymore. Are they even made anymore? Do kids even know the struggle we had of a Lunchable with no drink and an Andes mint as dessert (I am not complaining about the mint, I love Andes mints – best reason to eat at Olive Garden aside from the unlimited breadsticks). As I was strolling down the cold foods section in Walmart, looking for lunch meat, I spotted this gem tucked away between 700 different Lunchables, that were all pretty much the same, but presented with different things, and 20 flavors of Rev sandwich roll things.

I was a bit shocked that this is considered a lunch combination, considering that the calorie intake is almost as much as what I eat for an entire lunch somedays. People would give this to their kid in addition to either another Lunchable or in a sack lunch? Crazy!

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So despite not being able to say “I can’t remember the last time I had a Lunchable”, I can however say I can’t remember the last time I had dirt cake. I am not really into my food being mixed together. I like that each of the items are separated so that I can choose to eat them separately if I please. I contemplated this for a moment, but I felt like I was doing myself a disservice and not getting the full experience of the Lunchable… Dessertable…? I grabbed this treat from the fridge, plopped down on the couch and watched some old Monday Night Nitro while digging -haha!- in.

It took a little for the gummy worms to not be crazy chewy from being cold. The frosting in the middle, which I remember it being pudding as a child, was really syrupy in that it was really drippy, and the cookie crumbs were… cookie crumbs. Most of the combinations of flavors were good, but I did not care for lime gummy worm + frosting + cookie crumbs. Kinda gross. I ran out of worms before I ran out of the frosting and cookie crumbs, so I grabbed a spoon and polished off the rest because I’m an adult and I do what I want.

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Texture: 3/5 – The gummy worms started out as really chewy because they were cold, then the outside got really sticky from the condensation from the temperature change. The frosting was really syrupy and the cookie crumbs were crunchy.

Smell: 4.5/5 – This was chocolate delight! Yum!

Appearance: 3/5 – Nothing really exciting about this offering. I feel like it should have included a spoon.

Taste: 3.5/5 – This Lunchable was okay. The parts were good and the sum of the parts were good, but it wasn’t anything I haven’t had before. I wish they were full sized gummy worms because I ran out of those well before I ran out of frosting and cookie crumbs. Also the frosting was really messy because it was so syrupy. I also needed a spoon to eat the remaining cookie crumbs and frosting, which I guess if I were my child self, I would have just used my finger. The gummy and crunchy texture was nice, but there were some odd flavor combinations from the various flavors of the gummy worms that weren’t all that appetizing. I would probably not buy this again but it was nice to try something new. PS. where is the cake in all of this Lunchables?!

Roshen Chocolate Castle

¡Hola! So the Wal-Mart near my old place has a sizable Russian food section. This is the only one so far that I have seen that has anything different than the standard Asian and Hispanic sections. Most of the stuff is in the original packaging that has not been translated. The only way that I can figure out what some of these foods are by the pictures and the ingredient listing, which I think by law has to be translated into English.

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When I opened the package I was not expecting to see a giant brick of chocolate looking back at me. I thought it might be a couple of smaller sections or a tray of individual bars. I didn’t want to be a complete barbarian and take a bite out of this sheet of chocolate wafer goodness, so my conquest was put on hold while I went to get a knife. No snack should be this complicated. I sliced off a small piece and took a bite. The castle was crunchy and chocolatey. The chocolate had an interesting aftertaste. Did you ever go to a science museum as a kid with a space section and you just had to have a bag of astronaut ice cream? Personally I enjoy astronaut ice cream, but I know many kids did not. The aftertaste was that of chocolate astronaut ice cream.

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Texture: 3.5/5 - I really enjoyed the crunchy layers in this dessert. The chocolate was smooth, but kind of left a greasy film on the roof of my mouth. Yum!

Smell: 4/5 - Chocolate is the primary scent here, overall this dessert smells exceptionally sweet.

Appearance: 3/5 - I was expecting something a little different than what I was greeted with. Unfortunately this is not an item you could just pick up and take to a gathering because it is not individually portioned. Granted it would only take you a couple of minutes to chop up, but I’m all kinds of lazy.

Taste: 3.5/5 - This castle? is good, but nothing overly exciting. Keebler makes something similar that comes in individual wrappers. I enjoyed the crunchy flaky layers, and the chocolate was decent, but I couldn’t get over the greasy texture and the astronaut ice cream element.

Extra Dessert Delights – Rainbow Sherbet

Aloha! No I’m not in Hawaii, but I thought I would mix it up a bit. I consider myself an avid gum chewer. I have always liked gum, even as a kid. I ran the gamut of flavors before settling in on one my favorite gums, Original Trident. I know that this is kind of an old school gum, but honestly the flavor is nothing like anything else on the market and I like it. So there. However, I do occasionally mix it up and like fruit flavored gums. Of all of the different flavors that Extra has put out recently with their Dessert Delights line, the Rainbow Sherbet appeared to be the least disgusting of them. Who wants to eat apple pie gum, or key lime pie, or any of the other odd flavors they chose. Not me.

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(don’t worry, the fuzzy blue stuff under the package of gum is not mold, its the background to my cupcake tattoo)

I imagined that this gum would taste similar to popping a few sticks of Fruit Stripes Gum into your mouth. I absolutely loved that gum as a kid and when I found it recently on a grocery store shelf, I was pretty excited. I am also pretty sure that the package of gum had been made when the original production was happening with Fruit Stripes, as it was a bit stale, BUT IT CAME WITH TONGUE TATTOOS. Excuse me, I am easily amused. And keeping on with the amusing gum tales, when I was a kid I was convinced that I would be able to sleep with gum in my mouth and not have it get in my hair while I was sleeping. Despite my Mother’s urging not to, I defied her and hit the pillow for a night of rest, gum tucked into my cheek. Flash forward a couple of hours to me waking up in horror that not only had the gum mangled itself in my hair, it was stuck from my hair to my Ariel nightgown. It was a total tragedy – needless to say, I have not intentionally slept with gum in my mouth since then.

The package of gum smells kind of like an Orange Creamsicle. Citrus and vanilla mixed together to make an extremely yummy treat. So far I was sold on this gum as being a possible contender to add to the mix of my rotation of gums. I unwrapped a stick, slightly disappointed that it was not swirled with the colors for Rainbow Sherbet but just a plain pinkish red. Womp Womp. I popped the stick in my mouth and began to chew. I… I don’t even know how to describe this flavor. It kind of tastes like the bubblegum amoxicillin that you used to get as a kid mixed with fruit and kind of… minty? It is bad. If you can get past the inital flavor shock, it kind of tastes like Juicy Fruit gum. Kind of.

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Texture: 3/5 – Nothing fancy about this gum. No flavor crystals, or weird flavor burst orbs or whatever else shenanigans that gum and mint companies keep trying.

Smell: 5/5 – YOU ARE DECEIVING. This gum smells really good.

Appearance: 2/5 – As I touched on above, I was rather disappointed that the gum did not have all of the colors of sherbet. Plain pinkish red? That’s all you can throw at me?

Taste: 1/5 – No. Just no. This gum is not good at all. If you make it the 2 minutes or so of chewing before spitting this gum out, you’ll lose the flavor all together in the gum. So if you like chewing on flavorless rubber for a while, pick up a pack of this and you’ll be set, provided you can get past the initial gross value. Dessert Delight? More like Dessert Nightmare. Extra? stick to mint gum.