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ranch

Cheetos Stars – Summertime Ranch

Posted in Chips

Good Morning Friends and Happy Mother’s Day to all the mamas out there!

Usually I ramble a bit before getting into the review for the day, but one would say that I am slightly preturbed by these… chips? Crisps? POOFS? Whatever they should be called. So – let’s get down to it, shall we?

I bought these on a late night Walmart run recently and thought about them all day at work on Friday. Eh, let’s reel that in a little, I thought about the name all day on Friday. What exactly is Summertime Ranch? Is there a Wintertime Ranch? Is ranch best enjoyed in the summertime? So many questions. Also, my brain decided to totally botch the words to a Lana Del Rey song by inserting the name of these chips into the chorus, which has since been stuck in my head for two days now. You can preview the song here if you have not heard the song Summertime Sadness.

I’ve got that summertime, summertime ranch chips. I’ve got that summertime, summertime ranch chips.

Stuck in your head now? You’re welcome.

After a brief photo shoot of these stary crunch POOFS (you have to say poofs, POOFS. Don’t believe me? Just ask my friend Clare. I poured myself a small bowl, plopped down on the couch, before ultimately falling asleep there, and took an excited bite.

When I opened the bag, I was pummeled with intense ranch goodness. Now maybe I’m kind of an idiot here, but for some reason I expected these to be cheese flavored as well? I don’t know, cheesy ranch sounds good to me, so I was a bit surprised when I opened the bag and they were naked ranch stars.

Back to the couch goodness. I took one bite and…

THESE ARE RANCH DORITOS

This might be the shortest review in the history of this blog, but holy hell was I BEYOND disappointed. These are 100%, no question about it, Cool Ranch Dorito flavored. Womp Womp.

Overall, if you’re into Cool Ranch Dortios (which I am not because I WAY overdid it as a kid with those chips) and you’re into POOFS that ultimately get mashed into your teeth – these stars are for you. Not only was I disappointed by the lack of cheese, the lack of new ranch flavored goodness, I am now stuck with the most GIANT bag of these things – do birds like ranch? I’m kidding, don’t feed food like this to animals. Maybe I could crush them up and make them into some sort of breading for chicken strips or onion rings. But WOW. So bummed. I truly have the Summertime Sadness now.

Found at Walmart

May 13, 2018
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Snikiddy Chips – Jalapeño Ranch

Posted in Chips

Good evening folks! Two orders of business before we get to today’s review. First, it is JunkFoodGuy‘s birthday today! So if you haven’t already, leave him some birthday love on his blog! Second, because a) The Impulsive Buy is amazing and b) all of the people who read my blog daily are amazing, yesterday was my highest traffic day since I started this site – you guys seriously kick ass.

Tonight while waiting for my gyoza to be ready, I wandered over to BelAir to pick up a Vitamin Water and check out the snack food aisles to see if there were any new eats to try. I honestly feel like because so many stores started stocking their shelves with Christmas product so early, that for the month of December we will be hard pressed to find anything new in seasonal treats. I hope this does not prove to be true and that we get a small wave of new snacks before the end of the year. My partner in crime was debating on whether to pick up the Smikiddy chips or a bag of Late July organic chips. He decided to go with the latter so I opted for the Snikiddy chips.

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Let’s just set the record straight right now. I’m no health nut. I buy healthier snacks solely based on taste vs. potential health bonuses. (Ugh health bonus? I play too much Dungeons & Dragons – sorry my inner nerd is showing) I enjoy the Eat Smart Veggie Crisps and Straws. One reason I enjoy them is because they do a nice job of presenting a snack food that is healthy, but has a delicious flavor to boot.

When I picked up the Snikiddy chips, I noticed that they were made from sweet potatoes, carrots and navy beans. Interesting combination for a chip base. The only flavor of the trio that I could pin pinpoint was the carrot. These had a nice crunch to them. I was disappointed to find that instead of baking the flavor into the chip, that they chose to sprinkle flavoring on the outside. Sadly the powder distribution is very uneven, which made for a mediocre snacking experience. I wasn’t particularly impressed with these chips. The powderless ones had virtually no flavor at all, and the ones that did have flavor powder on them tasted like a hint of jalapeño and no signs of ranch to be found.

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Texture: 3/5 – These were quite crunchy, but unfortunately had kind of a mealy texture to them.

Smell: 2/5 – Because jalapeño is such a distinct smell as is ranch, I was expecting to smell at least one if not both when I opened the bag – but there was hardly an smell to these chips at all.

Appearance: 3/5 – The chips have a weird shape to them and I don’t know if it’s from the ingredients used or what but they look like a really greasy flour tortilla chip. (They are not greasy) Also you can pick out which chips have flavoring because of the powder on the outside.

Taste: 1.5/5 – The only redeeming quality that I found in these chips is that they would be good with salsa, hummus, or any sort of other dip. Unless you manage to find one with flavor dust the chips are rather bland. If you do manage to encounter the elusive flavor filled chip, it dissipates faster than the flavor in Double Bubble chewing gum. I would not buy these again.

November 29, 2012
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