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summertime

Cheetos Stars – Summertime Ranch

Posted in Chips

Good Morning Friends and Happy Mother’s Day to all the mamas out there!

Usually I ramble a bit before getting into the review for the day, but one would say that I am slightly preturbed by these… chips? Crisps? POOFS? Whatever they should be called. So – let’s get down to it, shall we?

I bought these on a late night Walmart run recently and thought about them all day at work on Friday. Eh, let’s reel that in a little, I thought about the name all day on Friday. What exactly is Summertime Ranch? Is there a Wintertime Ranch? Is ranch best enjoyed in the summertime? So many questions. Also, my brain decided to totally botch the words to a Lana Del Rey song by inserting the name of these chips into the chorus, which has since been stuck in my head for two days now. You can preview the song here if you have not heard the song Summertime Sadness.

I’ve got that summertime, summertime ranch chips. I’ve got that summertime, summertime ranch chips.

Stuck in your head now? You’re welcome.

After a brief photo shoot of these stary crunch POOFS (you have to say poofs, POOFS. Don’t believe me? Just ask my friend Clare. I poured myself a small bowl, plopped down on the couch, before ultimately falling asleep there, and took an excited bite.

When I opened the bag, I was pummeled with intense ranch goodness. Now maybe I’m kind of an idiot here, but for some reason I expected these to be cheese flavored as well? I don’t know, cheesy ranch sounds good to me, so I was a bit surprised when I opened the bag and they were naked ranch stars.

Back to the couch goodness. I took one bite and…

THESE ARE RANCH DORITOS

This might be the shortest review in the history of this blog, but holy hell was I BEYOND disappointed. These are 100%, no question about it, Cool Ranch Dorito flavored. Womp Womp.

Overall, if you’re into Cool Ranch Dortios (which I am not because I WAY overdid it as a kid with those chips) and you’re into POOFS that ultimately get mashed into your teeth – these stars are for you. Not only was I disappointed by the lack of cheese, the lack of new ranch flavored goodness, I am now stuck with the most GIANT bag of these things – do birds like ranch? I’m kidding, don’t feed food like this to animals. Maybe I could crush them up and make them into some sort of breading for chicken strips or onion rings. But WOW. So bummed. I truly have the Summertime Sadness now.

Found at Walmart

May 13, 2018
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